Well, Sille came, saw and left (vini vidi vinci), hahaha... but definetely, her coming here was really in the precise moment for me. My dad got back in the hospital two days after she came, and by then all the flights to Riberalta were booked or the plane was going to be under maintenance. So she had to stay for a week, but ThankGod my house was kind of empty, so I could take her there. I really wishI had more time (or had been more relaxed) when she was here. Yeah... but she'll come back soon.
So, I am now handling with my dad been drugged 24/7. He is in morphine now, and we were discussing using marihuana... shit, I hope no one ever feels this again. It's simply awful, the mere definition of the word. Being told that my dad will not survive, and that we're just hoping for a respiratory faillure, so he can die without suffering THAT much anymore... Plus, he does not want to keep on taking his drugs, so he is screaming or just crying all day long now. It's just awful. I haven't seen my friends Dani or Xime for about two weeks now, they must be pretty pissed at me. But right nowI just don't have a head for all of that anymore.
But, life goes on... and unfortunetaly, it also has an end, at least I am lucky to tell him how much I love him every day, or even cry with him about the many fears I have for him, and for us after he is gone. I am so incredibly Thankful for still having him with me, even if it's a selfish kind of way, to have him drugged or suffering so much every day.
He is still here.
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Alita:
somewhere far away from where you are now, someone who can't pray for you and your dad coz she doesn't believe in god is wishing with all her soul that things will work out fine.
language is developed for killing animals and eating it so it's insufficient to deploy what i want to say and what i feel, but i just want you to know that i'm thinking of you.
may you have tranquility inside you.
lovingly,
Vicky
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